Ke$ha is a feminist

So i think Ke$ha is a feminist. If guys are allowed to sing about gettin bitches and slappin' ho's then Ke$ha is just doing the same for women.

For those who haven't heard the animal album then let me run you through it.

1. Your love is my drug = So i've done like crack and heroin and shiz and i've gotta say that your love is almost exactly the same as those hardcore drugs i do.

and by love i mean sexual intercourse.

Your facial hair makes me wet

2. TiK ToK = Clocks make noises. P.s. we should totes go to a party and get drunk and not have sex (unless you look like Mick Jagger)

3. Take it Off = Take your clothes and have sex with me. Everybody please as i'd like to engage in a massive orgy

4. Kiss 'n' Tell = Don't have sex and tell people about it that's disgusting. Seriously why don't you just go ahead and write a whole album about having sex with people i'm glad i would never do that... oh wait

5. Stephen = mmm stephen just coz i slept with everyone except... well no everyone but i don't understand why you won't call me

6. Blah Blah Blah = Why are you still talking and trying to get to know me i just want sex... and to give you a blowjob. fo cereal

7. Hungover = Pretty self explanatory not gonna lie

8. Party at a rich dudes house = Where can we have sex... Got it let's go to some rich dudes house and shack up. get it SHACK up in a MANSION. Ironic i think

9. Backstabber = What's this stabwound in my back oh it's from you i can't believe you slept with my boyfriend. I mean sure he was your boyfriend first and technically he still is your boyfriend but seriously your such a backstabber

10. Blind = I listened to about 3 seconds of this before i got bored but imma take a guess and say that this song is about some guy jizzing in her eye so hard she goes blind

11. Dinosaur = Okay so i do have standards. if you have a colostomy bag i'm probably not gonna have sex with you. Unless your rich

12. Dancing with tears in my eyes = Just a really deep and meaningful song. Could be the next big church hymn

13. Boots and boys = I have a foot fetish and well there's something about boys i like. oh i know it's their penises

14. Animal = um yeah dunno what to say. Bit of an anti-climax soz

I actually love Ke$ha and thats not even a lie i like the fact that she's honest about being a trashy ho bag. And her music is super catchy. like an STD

Top 5 things that people think are funny in drive Thru. but they're not

5. Asking for the order takers number

My response to you is no. There's not much else I can say really. Besides the fact the you look so stoned you could be a prostitute from jesus time or you look so fat that you probs can't get out of your car so take your cheeseburger and go. Just go

4. Asking for a large coke but making it sound like you want a large cock

Oh hardy ha ha that was a good one :/ that's not witty, that's not smart you might as well run around the city shouting PENIS PENIS PENIS.... actually that would be funny you should definitely go do that

3. "Would you like any sugar?" "No thanks i'm sweet enough"

chortle chortle... not. and your not sweet enough. If you were sweet you'd leave me alone and make your way down to the closest euthanasia clinic. harsh but stop making these stupid jokes

2. "You sound different through the speaker haha" "yeah it's someone else..."

this happens. Sometimes a girl will take the orders but then a guy will take the money or vice versa and customers like to make little jokes about. What do you want me to say. Yep technology is amazing these days you can get a sex change IN 15 F*****G SECONDS. GARGHRGRH GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

1. When you add mc- to the start of EVERYTHING YOU SAYYYYY!

Mc-Hi can i mc-get a Mc-cheeseburger with mc-extra Mc-ketchup for my mc-mother f*****g fat arse. SHUT UP you're not funny i get it ! I do! you're at maccas. I work here i think i'm aware of my surroundings slutface mcgee *exasperated look*

p.s. Originally this was 10 things but only 5 were supposedly jokes and the other 5 were just things that pissed me off to be honest.

Cappuccinos, Muggaccinos and everything in between

So here is how a conversation went down the other day when i was working in McCafe

(While reading the lady parts put on a snobby old lady accent in your head)

Lady: Hi can i please get a muggacino?

Me: ummm yep

*looks on screen and can't find anything like that*

Me: Sorry what did you want?

Lady *sigh* A muggacino

Me: A macchiato?

Lady: No *looks at me like i'm stupid* a muggacino

Me: Sorry what is that?

Her Husband: It's a cappucino in a mug

Lady: Why? What do you call them?

Me: Oh just a cappuccino dine in or a cappucino in a mug

Lady: That is soo weird i think you guys are the only place that does that

Me: uhh... yeah


Okaaaay now i'm sorry but since when did we start giving food and beverages different names based on what crockery they're served in?

I can see where she's coming from though i mean wouldn't it just be the darndest thing if we called spaghetti on a plate and spaghetti in a bowl the same thing? The world would fall into chaos and we'd be running around like people who run fast

( i didn't want to say like headless chooks coz i'm pretty sure only old people talk like that)

And one more thing if a Muggacino is just a cappuccino from a mug then WHAT THE HELL does she think a babycino is?

My Greatest Love

So for a while now my boyfriend has been begging me to write a blog about the person i love the most :D and the time to write that blog is now.

Ryan Murphy (The Creator of Glee) I love you

:D phew glad i got that off my chest and now it is time to deal with all those glee haters out there. If you hate Glee then in the words of Sue Sylvester

SHUT UP!

There are people starving in Africa right now and i can't do anything about it. What I can do is watch glee so imma do that and you can hate somewhere else thanks.

There were some amazing moments in Season 2's grand opening.

It was incredibly sad when coach Beiste cried

And it was TOTALLY AWESOME when Quinn and Santana had a bitch fight.

Sometimes I think i care what people think.

And then i remember that Glee shits all over what some people think.

Watch it MotherLicker

Mitchy's favourite quotes

So here are three quotes which i remind myself nearly daily and it keeps me happy.

Hakuna Matata

Fake it til you make it

annd my favourite

It's better to be a first rate version of yourself then a second rate version of someone else

Basically Hakuna Matata is there because when ever anything bad happens i'm always hell devo and then i think to myself "Mitchell what can you do about it" If the answer is something then i go and do whatever i need to do to fix the problem but if the answer is nothing then i go Hakuna Matata and try to move on.

Obviously life doesn't work like that and this is where quote number 2 comes in. When i'm depressed you act happy not just on the outside but in your head too. Loads of people all act like their trying to be happy but on the inside there letting themselves just dwell on negative emotions. When i find myself thinking that everything sucks I go "NO you are happy, you are awesome and you are a complete stud" :D and even though you won't actually believe what you're saying to yourself you fake it until you make it and eventually you actually do feel what you're telling yourself.

Quote number 3 is kinda self explanatory :D

p.s. sorry this post wasn't funny I'm gonna go google a joke now and post it here

JOKE TIME: "On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

My friend Chanel

Dear Followers... all 6 of you

Yes the rumours are true I do have a friend

Her name is Chanel (hence the title) and i am not good enough for her
<--- haha this is Chanelope

I know she must be crazy but she wants more followers then just I

She says shiz like this

"Brace yourself bloggers, its about to get raw like sushi, so haters to the left!"

but mainly she has a lot of photos but she actually has good stories so it's hard to quote a bit but here's some photos


<--This is mainly a personal joke but whatever

Heres another quote

"But no, people [she's talking about famous sexy people] have to ruin it by marring amazingly attractive women and kill any stupidly far-fetched dreams that their fans have for them!

Not cool sexy people, not cool!"

anyway her blog is funny annnnd thoughtful so go check it out here's the link bitches... *awkward turtle*
i didn't mean to say that but i feel like sometimes I'm not homo enough so i have to step it up anyway here's the link... bitches

www.ifitsblue.blogspot.com

Swear Words and Pictures

So after my hundreds/a couple of blog post i've discovered the secret to success.

Wanna hear it?

Well you can't answer me because you're not here right now but i'm guessing you'd say yes. Anyway the secret is...

SWEAR WORDS AND PICTURES!!!!

I may have given it away in the title but it's true and i will show you an example.

Grab a seemingly normal photo say a mushroom
<-- These are mushrooms for all those carnivores out there


Then grab a handful of swear words and crude references

Then mix the two together in a wonderful combination eg.

WHAT THE FUCK MUSHROOMS!!!. You are not a food. If i wanted to sprinkle fungi all over my dinner I would have Gotten me some mouldy vagina filled with thrush.

And I know what you're thinking isn't that yeasty rather then mouldy or fungusy. and you know what i say to that?

FUCK YOU MR MUSHROOM

I'd rather eat shit then eat a close relative of the foot fungus Tinea.

P.S. You've got one hell of a muffin top going on there you Wanker