Catching the train is a complex psychological rollercoaster ride which I, um, ride everyday

When i sit down on the train the first thing I do is try and make myself look as mean as possible. I do this in several ways; by putting on my hood if I have one, looking down, injecting heroin into my eyeballs and physically scarring myself all in an effort to make sure no-one sits next to me. (Even after all this looking scary is quite hard when you haven't levelled up enough to grow even the hint of a menacing beard).

I go to all this effort because of one fact.

Fact: approximately 80% of locomotive transport users are yet to discover the magic of deodorant.

But if the bus gets full and no one sits next to me, in my head, I'm all like

"um is there something you wanna say to me?"

"Am i dresses innappropriately!?"

"DO YOU ALL HATE ME?!"

"WHY WON'T ANYONE SIT NEXT TO ME GODDAMMIT?!?!"

*someone sits down next to me*

Fuck off why are you sitting there?

Dirty Bogan breeding grounds, Also known as Perth Train Station